Onion News Network

  • 2011
  • |

Satirical take on news events, celebrities, sports and the world of entertainment.

Watch with XFINITY ON DEMAND

Season 2

Episode Number Episode Name Viewing Progress Airdate
Ep10 Year in Review
Ep9 Brooke vs. O'Brady
Ep8 Artificial Intelligence
Ep7 Sex in America
Ep6 Today Now! Special
Ep5 Exposed, Brooke Alvarez
Ep4 Dead Reporter
Ep3 Brainwall
Ep2 Missing Baby Kate
Ep1 Asteroid

Season 1

Episode Number Episode Name Viewing Progress Airdate
Ep10 American Dream
Ep9 Real America
Ep8 Stock Market Crash
Ep7 The Real Obama
Ep6 Cyber Attack
Ep5 Trial of the TR-425
Ep4 Fifth Anniversary
Ep3 Man-Horse Marriage
Ep2 Snowlocaust
Ep1 Enter the FactZone

More to Watch

Episode Number Episode Name Viewing Progress Airdate
Ep1 Brandon's Goodbye

Clips & More

Clip TypeClip NameViewing ProgressRun Length
News Boy Finds Own Real-Life E.T.
3 min 13 sec
News Obama's Home Teleprompter Malfunctions During Family Dinner
2 min 38 sec
News Ford Unveils New Car for Cash-Strapped Buyers: the 1993 Taurus
106 sec
News Victim in Fatal Car Accident Tragically Not Glenn Beck
110 sec
News How to Find a Masculine Halloween Costume for Your Effeminate Son
2 min 51 sec
News Gaffe-Prone Biden Embarrasses Nation Yet Again by Sneezing During Meeting
2 min 33 sec
News Bad Boy Fencing Star Implicated in Yet Another Daring Jewel Heist
2 min 49 sec
News Obama to Enter Diplomatic Talks With Raging Wildfire
2 min 46 sec
News Are the Obamas Out of Touch With the Average Miserable American Family?
2 min 26 sec
News Crime Reporter Finds Way of Linking Warehouse Fire to Depraved Sex Act
3 min 4 sec
News Little Boy Heroically Shoots, Mutilates Burglar
2 min 26 sec
News Americans Observing 9/11 By Trying Not To Masturbate
104 sec
News BREAKING NEWS: Bat Loose in Congress
3 min 14 sec
News Report: Growing Ranks Of Nouveau Poor Facing Discrimination From Old Poor
2 min 43 sec
News U.S. Condemned For Pre-Emptive Use Of Hillary Clinton Against Pakistan
2 min 28 sec
News NFL Players Mentor Troubled Detroit Lions
109 sec
News Facebook, Twitter Revolutionizing How Parents Stalk Their College-Aged Kids
2 min 47 sec
News Is Using A Minotaur To Gore Detainees A Form Of Torture?
2 min 39 sec
News Sudden Ominous Music Heard Across U.S., Nation Panicking
2 min 49 sec
News Baseball Superstar Accused of Performance-Enhancing Genie Use
2 min 55 sec
News White House Reveals Obama Is Bipolar, Has Entered Depressive Phase
2 min 29 sec
News Advocacy Group Decries PETA's Inhumane Treatment Of Women
2 min 18 sec
News Google Opt-Out Feature Lets Users Protect Privacy By Moving To Remote Village
2 min 17 sec
News Ex-Pedophile Shares Tips On How To Make Your Kids Less Attractive
2 min 15 sec
News U.S. Government Stages Fake Coup To Wipe Out National Debt
2 min 29 sec
News Congresswoman Says Botched Plastic Surgery Most Important Issue Facing U.S.
2 min 1 sec
News Evander Holyfield To Box Horse For Heavyweight Title
2 min 35 sec
News Human Rights Group Campaigns To End Use Of Child Politicians In Africa
2 min 37 sec
News Obama Axes Pentagon Plan To Build Billion Dollar Tank In Shape Of Dragon
2 min 5 sec
News New Live Poll Allows Pundits To Pander To Viewers In Real Time
3 min 9 sec
News Taco Bell's New Green Menu Takes No Ingredients From Nature
2 min 21 sec
News Obama To Hold Job Performance Review With Every American Worker
2 min 13 sec
News More American Workers Outsourcing Own Jobs Overseas
2 min 26 sec
News Treasury Department Issues Emergency Recall Of All US Dollars
112 sec
News US To Trade Gold Reserves For Cash Through Cash4Gold.com
2 min 31 sec
News Gymnast Shawn Johnson Put To Sleep After Breaking Leg
2 min 27 sec
News Congressman Demands To Know Who Left Fish Sandwich To Rot On House Floor
2 min 46 sec
News Obama Drastically Scales Back Goals For America After Visiting Denny's
2 min 46 sec
News New BabySafe Ball Makes Shaking Your Infant Guilt And Injury Free
2 min 57 sec
News Conservatives Warn Quick Sex Change Only Barrier Between Gays, Marriage
2 min 25 sec
News Political Talk Show Host Suddenly Very Interested In Manslaughter Law Loopholes
2 min 25 sec
News Nation's Girlfriends Unveil New Economic Plan: 'Let's Move In Together'
4 min 16 sec
News NHL Tries To Woo Fans By Increasing Scoring With Bigger Nets, 3-Point Line
118 sec
News Police Slog Through 40,000 Insipid Party Pics To Find Cause Of Dorm Fire
2 min 47 sec
News Congressman's Son Won't Shut The Hell Up During Hearing
2 min 22 sec
News Pentagon Reports Army Mascot 'Liberty' Killed in Iraq
2 min 17 sec
News Special Boy With Freakishly Large Brain Wins Spelling Bee
2 min 37 sec
News Trekkies Bash New Star Trek Film As 'Fun, Watchable'
2 min 21 sec
News Ambassador Stages Coup At UN, Issues Long List of Non-Binding Resolutions
2 min 1 sec
News Autoworkers Compete to Keep Jobs, Livelihoods on New Reality Show
3 min 32 sec
News Should We Be Doing More To Reduce The Graphic Violence In Our Dreams?
2 min 36 sec
News Prison Economy Spirals As Price Of Pack Of Cigarettes Surpasses Two Hand Jobs
2 min 15 sec
News Study: Children Exposed To Pornography May Expect Sex To Be Enjoyable
2 min 17 sec
News Hot New Video Game Consists Solely Of Shooting People Point-Blank In The Face
115 sec
News Morning Show Host Starts Charity To Rid World Of Flying Debris
3 min 8 sec
News DNA Evidence Frees Black Man Convicted Of Bear Attack
2 min 6 sec
News Congressman’s War Hero Son Would Have Wanted Highway Bill Passed
2 min 19 sec
News Prague's Franz Kafka International Named World's Most Alienating Airport
2 min 25 sec
News Paleontologists Discover Skeleton Of Nature’s First Sexual Predator
2 min 10 sec
News Manufacturer Recalls Hollow Point Bullets That Fail To Explode Inside Targets
2 min 9 sec
News Congressman Offers Preemptive Apology For Extramarital Affair
2 min 27 sec
News Experts Agree Giant, Razor-Clawed Bioengineered Crabs Pose No Threat
2 min 37 sec
News NCAA Expands March Madness To Include 4,096 Teams
2 min 25 sec
News Jennifer Love Hewitt Pays Magazine $2.2 Million To Run Photos Of Her Baby
2 min 5 sec
News Are Violent Video Games Adequately Preparing Children For The Apocalypse?
2 min 5 sec
News Majority Of World’s Spam Email Originates From Tiny Nation Of Koy4goff
3 min 47 sec
News Courageous Man Refuses To Believe He Has Cancer
2 min 49 sec
News East Timor's First Female Dictator Hailed As Step Forward For Women
2 min 18 sec
News FDA Approves Depressant Drug For The Annoyingly Cheerful
2 min 6 sec
News Are Reality Shows Setting Unrealistic Standards For Skanks?
2 min 27 sec
News Tom Coughlin Retires From Family To Spend More Time With Team
2 min 23 sec
News How To Wax Your Floors Without Slipping And Severing Your Spine
3 min 6 sec
News Kim Jong Il Announces Plan To Bring Moon To North Korea
2 min 16 sec
News Police Say School Shooter Had Troubled Past, History Of School Shootings
2 min 40 sec
News Bratz Dolls May Give Young Girls Unrealistic Expectations Of Head Size
3 min 28 sec
News Congress Debates Adding Elaborate Dance To Obama's Inauguration Ceremony
2 min 31 sec
News Survivors Of Gas Station Explosion Mourn Tragic Loss Of Gasoline In Gas Explosion
2 min 33 sec
News Man Who Crossed Nation In Balloon Only Wants To Talk About Horse Abuse
2 min 46 sec
News Apple Introduces Revolutionary New Laptop With No Keyboard
2 min 45 sec
News Media Watchdog Accuses Weather Channel Of Pro-Weather Bias
2 min 17 sec
News Aunts And Stepdads Line Up For This Year's Hottest Gift: The Electric Tea Kettle
114 sec
News President To Face Down Monster Attack, Own Demons In Action-Packed Schedule
2 min 47 sec
News In The Know: How Can We Make The Iraq War More Handicap Accessible?
2 min 16 sec
News NASA Simulator Prepares Astronauts for Rigors of an Interview with Larry King
3 min 31 sec
News USDA Official Takes Courageous Stand Against Interstate Countercyclical Potato Pricing
3 min 5 sec
News In Thanksgiving Tradition, Bush Pardons Scooter Libby In Giant Turkey Costume
102 sec
News China’s Andy Rooney Has Some Funny Opinions About How Great The Chinese Government Is
2 min 41 sec
News Attractive Girls Union Refuses To Enter Into Talks With Mike Greenman
3 min 44 sec
News In The Know: Should The Government Stop Dumping Money Into A Giant Hole?
2 min 4 sec
News YouTube Contest Challenges Users To Make A 'Good' Video
2 min 31 sec
News Obama Win Causes Obsessive Supporters To Realize How Empty Their Lives Are
2 min 47 sec
News Barbara Bush Runs Aground Off Coast Of Maine
2 min 35 sec
News Voting Machines Elect One Of Their Own As President
3 min 14 sec
News Has Halloween Become Overcommercialized?
3 min 17 sec
News Obama Undertakes Presidential Internship To Ease Concerns About His Lack Of Experience
2 min 58 sec
News Cindy McCain Claims She’s ‘Just Like Any Other Female Human’
2 min 3 sec
S0 |

Boy Finds Own Real-Life E.T.

Air Date:
11 year old Thomas Demming visits Today NOW! with the magical friend he hid for weeks in his bedroom closet.
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